“How come guys are so weird?” asked my friend. “You’re a guy and you used to go with women. Why do guys always act so weird around women?”
Women confide in gay men because we are non-threatening. They open up to us because they know they can tell us stuff in candor. While I will never use such confidences to my own inter-personal advantage, the information is consummately interesting because it provides insight into about fifty-percent of humanity.
“Men are weird with women because men think what they say and how they act will be misinterpreted,” I answered.
Men often don’t understand women; women often don’t understand men. Hence: Men talk to women so they can sleep with them--women sleep with men so they can talk to them. Billy Crystal said: "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Caveat: Any insight I proffer about heterosexual matters is suspect. It didn’t work for me--track record--not for lack of trying, but because I am homosexual. Duh.
Men fear they will appear needy or too forward. While their greatest desire might be to jump into the sack with their date, they are loathe to demonstrate their desire for fear of rejection. Women, by contrast, want to experience a connection, to be wooed for who they are and not as sexual objects.
In my limited experience, I believe the dynamic is different between gay men. I read somewhere in fiction, “Men like us just happen to like other men like us, to like the way a man kisses, or the feel of him in our hands…” It is straightforward. Two men attracted to one another don’t necessarily have to indulge some kind of mating dance; they understand each other from the get-go.
For example, I am a very sexual person and very forward. When I am with a guy I want to pleasure, I simply ask if he will let me. Generally, he understands my impulse and is grateful for no innuendo and no pretense. My cards are on the table. The man understands “forward” and is often turned on by it. If the man doesn’t want me messin’ with him, he merely declines my offer. I don’t feel rejected and we can proceed with being friends…or whatever.
Can anyone imagine such a dynamic between a man and woman?
Women confide in gay men because we are non-threatening. They open up to us because they know they can tell us stuff in candor. While I will never use such confidences to my own inter-personal advantage, the information is consummately interesting because it provides insight into about fifty-percent of humanity.
“Men are weird with women because men think what they say and how they act will be misinterpreted,” I answered.
Men often don’t understand women; women often don’t understand men. Hence: Men talk to women so they can sleep with them--women sleep with men so they can talk to them. Billy Crystal said: "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Caveat: Any insight I proffer about heterosexual matters is suspect. It didn’t work for me--track record--not for lack of trying, but because I am homosexual. Duh.
Men fear they will appear needy or too forward. While their greatest desire might be to jump into the sack with their date, they are loathe to demonstrate their desire for fear of rejection. Women, by contrast, want to experience a connection, to be wooed for who they are and not as sexual objects.
In my limited experience, I believe the dynamic is different between gay men. I read somewhere in fiction, “Men like us just happen to like other men like us, to like the way a man kisses, or the feel of him in our hands…” It is straightforward. Two men attracted to one another don’t necessarily have to indulge some kind of mating dance; they understand each other from the get-go.
For example, I am a very sexual person and very forward. When I am with a guy I want to pleasure, I simply ask if he will let me. Generally, he understands my impulse and is grateful for no innuendo and no pretense. My cards are on the table. The man understands “forward” and is often turned on by it. If the man doesn’t want me messin’ with him, he merely declines my offer. I don’t feel rejected and we can proceed with being friends…or whatever.
Can anyone imagine such a dynamic between a man and woman?
