It’s kind of like gaydar for dummies. Telltales are for those gay men who don’t send or receive gay radar or telepathy. A telltale or “tell” is a sign, signal or symbol indicating something secret or hidden. From the closet, a telltale is secret advertising. But used purposely, a tell signals, for example, that I am gay as hell and if you are too, let’s talk.
Gay telltales are myriad. I remember back in the day, gay men wore various colored handkerchiefs in various pockets to signal orientation, proclivities and preferences of their wearers. Earrings pierced various ears to convey gayness, top, bottom or whatever. It all seemed a little over the top; I don’t use handkerchiefs and I don’t have pierced ears.
Tattoos have a distinctive place in gay iconography. There are as many representations and symbols as there are gay men to suck up the ink. I got a tattoo thirty-five years ago, but it didn’t have anything to do with sexual orientation or preference for any particular act, scene or fetish. In fact, I chose the tattoo specifically because it was and still is innocuous. It symbolizes nothing and is telltale only that for some reason I felt compelled to get a tattoo. I still like my tattoo—thankfully—even though it has lost its color and the outline isn’t as clear as it once was.
Behavior and demeanor are tells, but now free of the damned closet, my mannerisms are the same as they’ve always been. I don’t walk with mincing step or drop my wrist. I still dress just as casually—albeit meticulously—because I am no clothes horse or slave to fashion. Fashion sense and prissy mannerisms are tells.
Nor do I festoon my truck with rainbow bumper stickers, mostly because I’m afraid vandals would vent their homophobic angst on my vehicle. While I doubt I could decorate my condo exterior with rainbow flags and windsocks, I might get away with rainbow-colored Tibetan prayer flags. That is more a reflection of the place I live than a comment on community attitudes about homosexuality.
My gay telltales involve accessories. Back there in the closet, I didn’t wear as much bling. For some reason I figured it was simpler and in good taste not to. Like my same-sex attraction, it was somehow easier out of mind.
Now, however, I accessorize in my own particular and personal way. Having realized early my penchant for turquoise and silver, I have always worn jewelry. But now I am comfortable wearing more jewelry than I used to. I figure that’s okay because I like it and I am gay so I have an excuse. Jewelry is personal…for me.
I also wear a rainbow-colored friendship bracelet, purposely, as a telltale. And glory be: it actually works. Tells are obvious to anyone in the know who cares enough to look, and the wide-eyed, jaw-dropping double-take from the handsome bank teller is worth the price of admission. That recognition tells the whole story.
