It is difficult to get a handle on gay and old, because both are hard to come to terms with individually. Aging is as hardwired as sexuality. When I was young, I was confident my adventures were the sole province of young men. If I thought about it at all, I labored under the misconception that when I grew old, sexuality would not be an issue. Sieze the day, I figured, and get it on...which I did.
Some men know they are exclusively gay all their lives. Some recognize their capacity for bisexuality; my sexuality fluctuated over years between bisexual and gay. Over the past few years, though, gay pegged the meter and now I self-identify as exclusively gay. That recognition landed in my life with both feet; it's not all bad, just a little overwhelming.
In the old days, an older gay man was a pariah, a troll, an old dude looking to get off with young guys. Had we but stopped to consider, old dudes aren't doing anything different than young dudes. We liked young dudes when we were young; why the hell shouldn't we like young dudes now? While some have an exclusive preference for young guys, I enjoy being with someone who shares my interests and is aroused by the sex. Old or young, for me arousal is key.
The bottom line is karmic. Young guys should realize they too, will someday be old queers trying to hook up. Chances are they won't all suddenly become heterosexual. Although difficult to accept when young, elderhood is common ground for all of us.
Some men know they are exclusively gay all their lives. Some recognize their capacity for bisexuality; my sexuality fluctuated over years between bisexual and gay. Over the past few years, though, gay pegged the meter and now I self-identify as exclusively gay. That recognition landed in my life with both feet; it's not all bad, just a little overwhelming.
In the old days, an older gay man was a pariah, a troll, an old dude looking to get off with young guys. Had we but stopped to consider, old dudes aren't doing anything different than young dudes. We liked young dudes when we were young; why the hell shouldn't we like young dudes now? While some have an exclusive preference for young guys, I enjoy being with someone who shares my interests and is aroused by the sex. Old or young, for me arousal is key.
The bottom line is karmic. Young guys should realize they too, will someday be old queers trying to hook up. Chances are they won't all suddenly become heterosexual. Although difficult to accept when young, elderhood is common ground for all of us.
We gay baby-boomers are about to impact the American demographic; the groundswell for gay marriage is an example. It will be another couple of decades before we fade. As gay men gray, perhaps age discrimination will subsume in diversity and arousal will out. Arousal isn't everything, but...
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