Lots of folks, both homo and hetero, believe bisexual doesn’t exist. Homosexuals believe bisexuality is a phase on the path to realization and enlightenment as homosexual. Heterosexuals believe same sex attraction at any level is homosexual. If a man maintains a relationship with a woman while experiencing—resisting or enjoying—attraction to his own gender, he is deeply in the closet, hiding his orientation behind her skirts.
Bisexuality therefore, is bête noir to both camps, claimed by neither, accepted by none. Yet bisexuality seems a more natural manifestation of human sexuality than either exclusive extreme. It opens the field, doubling the number of prospective partners and greatly expanding potential pleasure.
Two sex researchers recognize a sexual continuum with heterosexuality at one end and homosexuality on the other. Alfred Kinsey wrote, “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories…The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.”
The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid developed subsequently by Fritz Klein takes into account that many people change their orientation over time. He believed the concept of sexual orientation is an ongoing dynamic process, an experience to which I can thoroughly attest.
My most recent evolution from bisexual to gay might be seen to support the gay idea that bisexuality is a transitory phase. Instead, I hold with Dr. Klein that my process changes over time. Although I never have been and never will be exclusively heterosexual, I know damned well bisexual is as much a part of me as homosexual. My dreams tell me so.
Just as I was getting ready to post this, I found a great documentary on bisexuality. The entire movie is over an hour long, but worth a look if you have the time: http://www.logoonline.com/video/bi-the-way/1616890/playlist.jhtml.
Bisexuality therefore, is bête noir to both camps, claimed by neither, accepted by none. Yet bisexuality seems a more natural manifestation of human sexuality than either exclusive extreme. It opens the field, doubling the number of prospective partners and greatly expanding potential pleasure.
Two sex researchers recognize a sexual continuum with heterosexuality at one end and homosexuality on the other. Alfred Kinsey wrote, “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories…The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.”
The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid developed subsequently by Fritz Klein takes into account that many people change their orientation over time. He believed the concept of sexual orientation is an ongoing dynamic process, an experience to which I can thoroughly attest.
My most recent evolution from bisexual to gay might be seen to support the gay idea that bisexuality is a transitory phase. Instead, I hold with Dr. Klein that my process changes over time. Although I never have been and never will be exclusively heterosexual, I know damned well bisexual is as much a part of me as homosexual. My dreams tell me so.
Just as I was getting ready to post this, I found a great documentary on bisexuality. The entire movie is over an hour long, but worth a look if you have the time: http://www.logoonline.com/video/bi-the-way/1616890/playlist.jhtml.
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but for a long time I believed myself to be bisexual for a long time. It it was not until I was approaching my 40's I realized I was deceiving myself. As a young man I did not want to me gay so I "reasoned" I must be bisexual.
ReplyDeleteThat could have been part of it, and part of my ineptitude with girls. It was deeply submerged, though.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason so many people, gay or straight, have a hard time believing that someone can be bisexual is that they've experienced what Jim above described. Often during the coming out process a gay man might consider himself bi, only later to identify as gay but never return to interest in women. So in these cases bisexuality is seen as a comfortable myth to tell. This makes it all the more difficult for authentically bisexual people to be taken seriously.
ReplyDeletePS thanks for adding me to your blog roll, I've done the same in return. Keep up the good work.